reaching out (and in) with ultimate love and caring

 
 

"You are not needy. You are a human with needs." — Mara Glatzel

veryone on this planet is just going around silently asking the same question: "Do you love me?"

The question is implicit in our actions; you may not even know you are asking it.

But feeling loved is the undercurrent to all of our concerns: Do you like me? Do you love me? 

Am I lovable?

Because if I am lovable, I am enough for you.

I am enough for myself if you validate this for me.

If you confirm for me that I am worthy, I can feel justified in my pursuits.

I can feel deserving.

Written out like that, it may sound desperate, but it is just a deeply human way of reaching out to try to get our fears assuaged.

It's not desperate. It's human.

What's great about this question is if you assume that all people are inherently worthy of love, you cut out the middle man.

If you already assume yourself to be worthy, you're less concerned with getting the "right" answer from the person asked.

Regardless of circumstance, I always try to give other people the benefit of the doubt.

I get it—that assumption might appear to stem from naïveté, but I can tell you that I am significantly more content when I assume that people are inherently good.

It comes down to this vital question: do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

I choose to believe that all people are inherently good, but ultimately I don't care if that is true or not, since we can't prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt either way.

The times in my life when I assumed the opposite to be true instead, it made me miserable to spend all of my time feeling indignant and disgusted with people instead of just moving on with my day.

So I make the deliberate choice to believe that all people are worthy of love.

See yourself as worthy of love. See every single person you come into contact with as worthy of love.

Empathy nourishes relationships, so if you see yourself and the people around you as one and the same, you have the capacity to offer both them and you what both need.

Because before you can truly care for the people you love, you need to believe for yourself that you are worth your time and care.

That is why the world is in an uproar about self care. That is why self care is a golden buzz word.

Compassion doesn't just mean for other people. It includes you too.

You are loved. You are lovable.

You are seen by those who matter, and that is enough.

You are enough. You are worthy. Your pursuits are worthwhile.

Show yourself the limitless compassion you give to others. 

Iris Rankin

Soulful questioner, exuberant organizer, here to find the balance between discipline and delicious relaxation. Iris Rankin is the founder of Project Intention, a values-based community focused on living day-to-day with purpose, planning, and heart. Iris encourages women to adopt the self care practices that make them feel divine, the planning tools to hone in on their essential wants and needs, and the emotional resilience to express their most authentic selves.



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