making a choice on behalf of your heart


“Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not.” — Mooji

What does it feel like to make the huge transformational shifts your soul calls you to embrace?

Tender, raw, relief, heartbreaking, invigorating, the deepest sense of loss and joy combined, emotions physically manifest in your throat and your gut, overwhelming fear and overflowing gratitude.

All at once.

When we make a change that our soul calls us to do, there is a veritable opening of the floodgates.

Often, the soul-calling is not a choice that makes logical sense.

Because the idea of making the change doesn't look good on paper, or because we're worried about what our closest allies will think of who we will become, or because we're afraid of who we'll become, we resist.

We may fight the knowing of our intuition for weeks, months, even years.

Faith and gut-feeling is by definition illogical.

The logical part of our brains wants our world to be clean and tidy and easy to decide.

So we take our heart's knowing and we put it in a little box.

We carefully tape the box shut.

And we shove that box into a dusty little corner of our being.

But the box is still there.

It is Pandora's box, softly calling us over and over to open it wide, to let the creatures of change loose to wreak their sweet, terrible havoc on our lives.

We know that to not change does ourselves a disservice, but we're fearful of the consequences more than the dullness of staying the same.

Either we ignore that box full of secrets and hopes and wild things, gathering cobwebs and ever-growing resentment until the day we die...

Or we peek into the box, opening the lid ever more gradually until we see what is inside is indeed the most dazzling, heart-wrenchingly beautiful pieces of ourselves to be gently held and glued back together.

If we do open the box and give into our longing, it is a pivotal moment of transformation.

Making a soul choice is not like any choice, it is the act of aligning our actions as deeply as possible with our needs and wants.

When you open your mouth and say those life-changing sentences or you step forward for the physical or mental feat of your life, you make the leap from fear to faith.

You choose inner strength and personal growth over that ever-tempting call to stay small and keep things "easy."

The longer we push back against what our heart tells us to do, the greater the eventual outpouring when we finally ascent.

Finally, after so long, the discomfort of staying where you are outweighs the discomfort of the unknown change.

Sometimes listening to your heart and acting on it simply feels good. There is mounting tension, but when you follow through, your heart melts into happiness and you can breathe an audible sigh of contentment and relief.

But more often than not, you have been sitting on this decision for so long that it has taken its toll on your every hair, your every fiber, your every cell.

The times when I have at last given in to my deepest needs, I've felt any manner of emotions.

While I always have a deep and quiet sense of satisfaction knowing that I've acted on behalf of my true path, that rightness is often coupled by grief.

Yes, you chose to give yourself permission to step closer to being your fullest self.

Yet you also have the bittersweet loss of the life that would have been, even if you know it was the wrong path for you to take.

Let yourself fully feel that grief. Then let yourself move through it and past it.

Though you have made sacrifices to be where you are, perhaps you feel selfish for allowing yourself what you need.

But acting in service to yourself is about knowing that lifting yourself up and out, into a new chapter, will eventually lift others up too.

That is just about the least selfish way to be. When you help yourself, you help others too.

The challenge is to eventually cycle more rapidly through the moment when you realize you need to make the change, then through the period of fear and resistance, and finally to action.

This is way easier said than done.

But even with the difficulty, I do think it is the work we are here to do.

We are here to make the choices that our hearts know will fill us most fully and be of service to others most completely, and our task is to try to make those choices as readily as we can.

Even so, if your heart says, "We will...but not yet," listen to it.

Take your time.

It is said that insight without action is worthless, but I disagree.

Sometimes your thoughts need to cure and strengthen. You need to give that Pandora's box the side-eye for a while as the rest of your self catches up.

Sometimes awareness needs time to sink in. You cannot have periods of action without also having periods of reflection.

You cannot be in a state of action all of the time.

But if your heart says, "Now. Do it now," there is no better time.

Either take a moment to be truly honest with just yourself and write down in your journal or reply here and let me know:

Is there something right now you are being called to do? What do you need to take action? How and where will you garner the support you need to move forward?

Is there any way that I can assist you in getting there?

Stand tall and I'll stand with you.

Iris Rankin

Soulful questioner, exuberant organizer, here to find the balance between discipline and delicious relaxation. Iris Rankin is the founder of Project Intention, a values-based community focused on living day-to-day with purpose, planning, and heart. Iris encourages women to adopt the self care practices that make them feel divine, the planning tools to hone in on their essential wants and needs, and the emotional resilience to express their most authentic selves.

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